Hey! You’ve been invited to go boating with your friends! Folks with boats know people will start coming out of the woodwork the moment they buy a boat and are usually more than happy to have some others along. But there are a few rules you need to follow in order to get invited back.  Keep in mind, boats aren’t cheap to buy or maintain. Also marine gas ain’t cheap either and someone will be cleaning up a house full of tracked in lake mud after your adventure. They’re spending time and money to take you out so don’t act like some D-bag at a frat party.

Here’s a couple of rules to ensure you’ll receive future invites. (Note: When I say guy, I mean guys and girls, I’m from Michigan it’s what we do.)

1) Food – Don’t be the guy that brings one bag of pretzel rods for a full day of boating. Eventually you will get hungry (especially after a few beverages) and when you do you will have to depend on the kindness of others to be fed properly. Mainly because they don’t want your drunk ass passing out due to lack of proper nutrition or falling off the boat. Consider bringing a sub sandwich, chopped fruit, veggies, chips or some other easy to transport food. Be gracious when someone does offer you their food and don’t just take for granted that the host/hostess is supposed to feed you unless this was specifically implied.

2) Drinks – Always bring twice what you can drink. Boating is a communal affair and you may have to share a couple beers. (Because there’s always the person who came completely empty handed or underestimated their ability to consume beverages on a hot day). Also don’t show up with just drinks, put them in a cooler and cover them with ice. Unless you’re bringing Fireball, we’ll make room in our cooler for that. And drink a water every now and again. Proper hydration will ensure that you don’t get too intoxicated and be “That Guy.”

3) Guests – Did you tell the captain you were bringing a friend/dog/child on their boat? Bringing tag-alongs without notice is a big no-no. Maybe that extra will overcrowd the boat, or pee on the carpet (I mean the dog not the friend) and some situations just aren’t kid friendly. Besides, now you are personally responsible for the care and feeding of your guest. You’re going to have to share your warm 6 pack and pretzel rods between 2 people now. Always check with your host/hostess before dragging along a sidekick. Yes, even you, beloved friend.

4) Smoking – Always ask before lighting up on someone’s boat. Once again these are expensive machines, and just because they’re open air doesn’t mean it’s ok. Owners always fear that some drunk may put a burn hole in the seat. Be considerate and ask first and NEVER throw your butts in the water.

5) Littering – Speaking of throwing things in the water. Absolutely nothing goes into the water that is not seaweed. Orange rinds, peanut shells, and such are no big deal but be mindful of your beer caps, cigarette butts, wrappers and cans. Litter is destructive and disgusting. In fact if you find a piece of trash in the water, pick it up and put it in a trash bin. Don’t be a piggy.

6) Be Prepared – Be sure you’ve brought all you need for fun in the sun. This includes sunscreen, sunglasses, chapstick, and a towel along with your food and drinks. Trust your friends when they say you need sunscreen or a water.

7) The Captain – OK here’s the deal: The captain is in charge of the boat. (The captain may not always be the one in the drivers seat) If he/she says it’s time to go, it’s time to go. If they ask you to move, sit down or shut up, do it. As fun and relaxing as boating is, it is the captains job to ensure the safety of all the people on their boat and they are liable for you. Also, the captain chooses the music or appoints a DJ, end of story.

8) Safety – If you feel a “Hold my beer and watch this” moment coming up, just say no. Do not push anyone out of a moving boat or jump out of a moving boat. Do not hang out by the motor of a running boat. Don’t try a double back flip off the platform. Don’t sit on the rails at high speeds. In other words don’t be dumb.

9) Passenger Etiquette – Respect the boat! Don’t step on seats, only hard surfaces if possible. Leave coolers on the floor. Don’t bring any glass on board.  Respect equipment including paddle boards and floats. Don’t play with any buttons or switches. Don’t try to start the boat while the captain is away. Don’t try to “help” unless the captain asks you to.

10) Don’t be late – Nothing is more tiresome than sitting with a boat full of people waiting on that one person who didn’t plan ahead. We could be out having fun, but no we’re still at the dock because you just texted “On My Way!” from inside the beer store. Have some respect for your friends and get there when you are supposed to.

11) Disembarking – Don’t stand up until the boat is fully secure. Make sure you grab everything you brought with you on the boat. Make sure all trash has been cleared and put it in a proper place at the house. Ask for help if you need it.

Oh and if you get invited out regularly, offer to chip in for gas. A gas station gift card is the easy way to make this happen. That’s it for now friends! Please let me know if you think of something else I can add!

(Update: A friend also mentioned that you should use spray sunscreen BEFORE getting on the boat. Sunscreen spray makes seats sticky and hard to clean. The lotion kind is better for your skin and the environment anyway.)

11 Financial Words All Parents Should Teach Their Kids

If there’s one subject that has the ability to impact kids throughout their entire lives, it’s personal finance. Unfortunately, it’s a subject that no one wants to teach them.

“The practicality of teaching [finance to kids] is so important…it’s the one topic that they’ll actually use for the rest of their lives, everyday. But it’s the one topic that isn’t really taught,” says Gregg Murset, chief executive of My Job Chart, an online tool that teaches kids about responsibility, managing money and helping charities.

Because most schools aren’t teaching finance, the responsibility falls to parents. But many parents are reluctant to broach the subject, often because they don’t feel qualified or they think talking about money will make their children worry. In a recent study 72% of parents reported at least some reluctance talking to their kids about finance. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want their kids learning it — 91% believe it’s appropriate for kids to learn about financial matters in school and 75% said there should be a personal finance requirement to graduate.

Teachers agree — in a separate study 89% said students should take a finance course or pass a competency test for high school graduation — but only 29% of teachers are actually teaching it. There’s been some progress getting more public schools to make courses mandatory, but it’s far from being a standard part of school curriculum, which means the onus is on parents to ensure their kids have, at the very least, a basic financial understanding.

The following is a list of terms that experts say every kid should learn. It includes the age at which kids can generally being to understand the concept as well as an age-appropriate explanation that parents can use. (Even if your kids are into their teenage years, it’s never too late! Go through the list to make sure they have a good understanding of each term.)

1. Saving(s): Age 4+

Saving is one of the best topics to introduce at a young age. It’s easy for kids to grasp and can have a huge impact on those who embrace it early. “Saving means not using all of your money right away, but instead putting it aside for later,” says Stacy Francis, president and chief executive of Francis Financial.

There are plenty of examples parents can use to illustrate, here’s one: Start by giving your child two small pieces of candy during the day. Let them eat one right away and save the other until after dinner. Then each day for a week, give them two pieces but have them save one in a special place. When the week is over, they’ll be excited to have a bag full of candy. Explain that saving money works the same way — when you regularly put a little bit aside, in time it will add up to something big.

2. Budget: Age 8

A budget is plan that you make to keep track of your money and where it is going. One great way that a lot of parents teach kids how to budget is with “give, save, spend jars.” Whenever the child earns money they divide it between the jars. The “save” jar is money that’s intended for a longer-term goal; money in the “spend” jar can be used any time for smaller purchases; the “give” jar is money that will go to a charity of their choosing. The give jar, in particular, is great for getting kids to think about helping others while allowing them the freedom to choose where to donate their money.

Niv Persaud, founder of Transition Planning & Guidance says it’s also a good idea to get kids involved in the family budget, or “spending plan” as she calls it. “Involve your kids in developing a spending plan for an upcoming vacation. Let them see how you budget and save for these memorable trips. Start with small tasks and as your kids grow, expand their role. Once you’ve selected a destination, ask them to calculate how much you need to save for travel, food, lodging and entertainment. When you’re on vacation, ask them to keep track of spending.”

3. Loan: Age 8

A loan is something that is borrowed, often money, which has to be paid back with interest (See #5 below). Most kids get the basic concept of a loan because chances are, at one time or another, they’ve lent something to a friend or sibling and expected to get it back.

Start by explaining some of the reasons people take out loans. For instance, because it costs a lot of money to buy a house most people borrow money (take out a mortgage) to pay for it. Even kids know that $300,000 is a lot of money, so when they hear that’s the average price of a house they can understand why most people borrow money to cover it. Car loans and student loans are also good ones to discuss – especially the latter for kids who will be taking out student loans to pay for college.

While taking out a loan isn’t a bad thing, parents need to stress that when you do take on a loan, it’s your responsibility to pay it back.

4. Debt: Age 8

Loans and debt can be explained together. Like a loan, a debt is money that you owe someone that needs to be paid back. Once again, a mortgage can be a good way to illustrate how debt works. (Other types of debt, such as credit card debt, can be introduced a bit later on — See #6)

Murset says parents should discuss their own mortgage with their kids by explaining that they borrowed money – took on debt – to buy their house and that they need to pay it back a little bit each month. He adds, it’s critical to show the kids the mortgage statement so they can see how much is paid each month and the interest. That way they can see the cost associated with debt and that it never goes away until it’s paid off. Murset says, “kids need to understand that once you have a debt, it doesn’t go away until you’ve taken care of it.”

5. Interest: Age 8-10

Interest has two sides: it’s either something you pay when someone lends you money or something that you earn when you lend money to someone else. Elizabeth Grahsl, Vice President of Prosperity Bank says, you would earn interest if, for example, “your sister runs out of her allowance but needs money this weekend. You could lend her $20 but charge her $2 in interest, which she will have to pay you back next week.” You can also make it into a game to illustrate how it works: Ask to borrow a few dollars from your child’s piggy bank and then set up a schedule to pay it back over the next month with interest.

Grahsl adds, “explain to older kids how you pay the bank interest on your car loan or mortgage each month. Also point out that the bank pays you interest on deposits you gave them.”

When kids are older and can calculate simple percentages, have them do some math to see how interest adds up. Show them a credit card agreement that charges 15% interest and have them figure out how much extra money you would have to pay to carry a balance of $5,000 or $10,000 on your credit card, versus if you paid it off right away.

6. Credit/Credit Card: Age 8-10

Credit lets you buy something without having to pay for it right away. For example, if you use a credit card to buy a new bike that costs $200, the money doesn’t come out of your bank account. Instead the credit card company pays for the bike. Then they send you a bill and you have to pay them back the $200. If you don’t pay them back right away, they will charge you extra money (interest). The longer it takes you to pay back, the more money you will owe in the end. While credit cards are necessary to have — you can’t buy a sandwich on a plane without one — kids need to understand that they should only be used to buy things that they can afford to pay off right away.

If you’re at the store with your child and they forget their money but they absolutely have to have that special toy, let them borrow the money, say $10. Tell them, however, that they have to pay you back right away when you get home. If they don’t, start adding on interest and continue to until they’ve paid you back.

Parents should also explain how a debit card is different as it takes money directly from your checking account. Murset suggests referring to debit cards as “money suckers.” “When you’re at the store and you slide the debit card, explain that the card is sucking the money right out of your account at that very moment.”

7. Taxes: Age 10-12

Chances are most kids know the word but few understand what taxes are. Here’s the explanation: Taxes are payments that go to the government for the work that it does, such as improving schools and fixing roads. They’re taken right from your paycheck and the amount you pay depends on how much money you make.

Jeff Nauta, Principal with Henrickson Nauta Wealth Advisors says, “A great way to teach kids about taxes is to apply a tax to their allowance.” So rather than giving them their full allowance each week, take away a percentage and put it in a family jar to be used toward a household expense.

You can also explain to older kids that doing certain things, which have a positive impact such as donating money to charity or installing solar panels on your house, can lower your taxes.

8. Investment – Age 10-12

An investment is something that you spend money on, which you believe will earn you even more money (a profit) down the line. John Fowler, a wealth manager with McElhenny Sheffield Capital Management, says he’s teaching his 6-year-old daughter about investing by having her take money out of her piggy bank each week to put into an “investment account” (also known as “the box in daddy’s filing cabinet).

Fowler says the idea is that if she leaves $10 in the box, she’ll make an extra $1. “It took a couple of months of forcing her to put the money in the box in the filing cabinet. I set an alert on my phone to go off every week and I would add one quarter a week for every $10 she would “invest.” By keeping the time frame we use to review her gains relatively short, weekly, it kept the concept front of mind and it became fun for her.”

Kids should know, however, that although people invest in things that they hope will make them more money, it doesn’t always happen that way. That’s why it’s never a good idea to put all of your money in a risky investment, because if you do and the investment fails, you could loose it all.

9. Stock – Age 12+

A stock is a piece of a company. When you own a stock of a company, you own a small piece of its business. Every stock has a price and that price can go up or down, depending on what’s happening at the company.

Stock movements are best illustrated to kids with an example of a company they know. For instance, say you bought one share of Apple AAPL -0.75% stock for $5 . If the company sold a ton of iPhones, which is good for the company, it could make the stock price go up to $8, meaning you would have earned $3 on your investment. On the other hand, if Apple didn’t sell a lot of iPhones and the stock fell to $2, you would have lost $3. Most people don’t own a single piece of a stock (a share), but tens, hundreds or thousands of shares. And most people also own stock of several different companies. The “stock market” is where people buy and sell (trade) their stocks. There is an actual place where stocks are traded but it can also be done over the Internet.

Learning about stocks can be particularly fun as kids get older. There are a lot of online games and apps they can use to create virtual stock portfolios, which can show them how stock prices move and how much money they would have made or lost if they been dealing with real money.

10. 401(K): 14+

As kids enter the teenage years, it’s a good time to begin preparing them for some of the things they will likely encounter once they enter the workforce, one of which is a 401(k) plan. Francis explains a 401(k) as “a savings account for retirement savings offered by your employer. The money that you put into a 401(k) is taken out directly from your paycheck, and is intended solely for retirement. You can’t withdraw it until age 59½.”

Francis adds, “You don’t pay taxes now on money you put into your 401k…This is a great deal because the money that would have been taken out in taxes is instead allowed to grow and compound your entire working career. Only when you withdraw it in retirement do you pay taxes.”

The money that’s put into a 401(k) gets put into different investments. The ideas is that the investments will increase over time, so the money in the 401(k) will grow as well.

11. Credit Score: Age 15+

Once you plan to give your child use of a credit card, you must explain what a credit score is, Persaud of Transition Planning & Guidance says. Here’s how she describes it: There are three credit bureaus, which calculate your “credit score” or how you use your money. The goal is to have a high credit score – more “likes” by the credit bureaus. The way to receive more likes (a high score) is to have a long history of paying your bills on time. When you don’t pay your bills on time or you have too much debt, your score gets lowered.

It’s important to emphasize that a good credit score will help in the future if you want to borrow money to buy a house or a car. Meanwhile a bad credit score can make it difficult for you to borrow money.

Five simple rules to be happy.  A donkeys tale.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item
from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you
CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.

WRITTEN BY A 21 YEAR OLD FEMALE.

PUT ME IN CHARGE . . .

Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, or smoke, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good..”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND While you are on Gov’t subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov’t welfare check. If you want to vote, then get a job.

• 1. Living outside of what you can afford

  A wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: “The best thing you can do as a wife is to live within your husband’s means.”

  Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.

  Constantly complaining about not having enough to fulfill your lavish desires or racking up astronomical amounts of debt on your credit card is a poor way of saying “thank you” to a faithful spouse who works hard every day to provide for the family.

  Yes, you may not have enough to buy that Kate Spade bag you’ve had your eyes on for months, but your husband will love and appreciate the fact that you honor him and are grateful for what he provides.

• 2. Constant negativity

  You hate your hair, the messes around the house, the neighbor across the street, your dumb co-worker, the old dishwasher, and everything in between. As soon as your husband walks through the door, you launch into action and dump every negative and angry thought that’s crossed your mind throughout the day.

  Can you imagine having to carry that burden? Negativity is draining. Men like to fix things, and constantly being hounded with complaints makes it difficult for him to help solve your pains.

  If there is one thing I’ve learned from marriage is that a good man wants you to be happy, and if he can’t help you do that, it makes him unhappy. It’s okay to have a bad day once in a while, that’s totally understandable, but don’t make it a way of life.

• 3. Putting everything else first

  When your children, mom, best friends, talents, or career in front of your husband, you send a clear message to him that he is unimportant. Imagine having that message sent to you every day for many years. What would that do to your self esteem?

  Put your husband first.

  Although it sometimes seems counter-intuitive and counterproductive, I think you’d be amazed to find that it’s often the key to the greatest happiness in marriage. So many couples get divorced these days, because they neglect to care and love one another and put each other first.

  If you choose to put each other first, you will find a lot of joy.

• 4. Withholding physical affection

  Men crave and need physical affection with their wives. When you constantly decline intimacy, it wears on them.

  Sex should not be used as a tool to control your spouse; it should be viewed as a sacred tool to draw you closer to one another and to God.

  It is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving, romantic husband who wants to share something so beautiful and important with you — and you only. Even though you might not always be in the mood, it’s worth it to give in (when you can) and spend that time bonding.

• 5. Not speaking his language

  Women love to drop hints. (I think it’s part of our DNA.) But men just don’t get them. (I think that is a part of their DNA.)

  Don’t waste your time giving subtle hints that he won’t understand: Speak plainly to him. Be honest about your feelings, and don’t bottle things up until you burst. If he asks you what’s wrong, don’t respond with “nothing” and then expect him to read your mind and emotions. Be open about how you really feel.

 

4 key reasons why it matters to put your spouse before your children

• The four key reasons

• Your children need to see how marriage works

  If you push your spouse down on your list of priorities, your children will believe that marriage isn’t all that important. On the other hand, if they see you honoring your spouse with that number one spot, they will feel a love and security that can come in no other way.

  A young adult shared the following experience. She said, “When I was little I used to ask my mom who she loved the most, me or Dad. She always said, “Dad.” I asked him the same question, and he answered “Mom.” Of course, I knew they loved me, but I was always a little disappointed that they didn’t say they loved me the most. A few years later I asked them again and the answer they gave showed me on top, at last. They said they loved me the most. The funny thing is, it didn’t feel so good after all. It wasn’t the feeling I was expecting. I liked it better when they said they loved each other the most.” A few years later they were divorced. She said, “They needed to keep loving each other the most, then I might still have a mom and dad together. It’s sad.” (First published here)

  Twin college coeds were counseling their younger sisters about what to look for in their future husband. They wrote: “Tonight when Dad comes home from work or meetings, listen to the first words he’ll say when he walks in the door: ‘Where’s my beautiful wife?’ Then watch as he searches the house to find her, just so he can kiss her to let her know he loves her. Notice how he’ll start helping with whatever he can right away, and how he makes every one of you feel so important as he asks about your day.”

  Putting your spouse first does not diminish the love your children feel from you. It enhances it as long as you show love to them as well.

• It creates a feeling of romance in your marriage

  You know right off the top that you matter to your spouse, and that’s romantic. How open are you to respond with love and affection when you feel that you are the most important person in the world to your spouse? Keeping romance alive in marriage is crucial. And this is not just about “making love,” it’s about giving love in everyday little acts of caring that show your spouse how much he or she means to you. An unhappy wife told us that her husband meets the needs of everyone else first and rarely even notices hers. Are there times when a child’s needs come first? Of course, but not continually and not at the expense of your spouse. A father of three young children, when asked if he still had the top spot on his wife’s list of priorities, said, “I’m not even on the list.” He wasn’t laughing. Busy spouses must always find time to show their mates how important they are to them.

• Children who are continually number one become self-centered

  When they are practically worshiped at home by a parent, children go out into the world with an unrealistic view; one that says they are owed. In an article by physician Danielle Teller, titled “How American parenting is killing the American marriage,” she said, “Children who are raised to believe that they are the center of the universe have a tough time when their special status erodes as they approach adulthood. Most troubling of all, couples who live entirely child-centric lives can lose touch with one another to the point where they have nothing left to say to one another when the kids leave home… Is it surprising that divorce rates are rising fastest for new empty nesters?”

• It helps everything else in your life go better

  When your marriage is going well, it improves every other part of your life. If you have to spend time worrying about your marriage, it will take away from your productivity at work. Even more important, if you spend time fretting over marital problems, you have less time to devote to your children. There is only so much time and space in your life so keeping the marriage strong opens up more avenues for your relationship with your children to flourish. Keeping your spouse in that number one spot is what helps make that happen.

  When divorce and remarriage enter the scene, it can be complicated. Where do the children of the first marriage fit? The new spouse deserves that number one spot, but that does not mean the children of a previous marriage are excluded. Children of divorce can feel left out and unloved if proper attention is not given to them. They may not be number one, but they need to be a very close number two, even if they are unlovable at times. They’re hurting. They need both of their natural parents’ love for them to thrive.

  If you are a step-parent (some call it more lovingly — a bonus parent), then you need to be willing to welcome your current mate’s children into your lives and allow him or her to have time to enjoy their children. Bring them into a loving family where they can see that your current marriage is one of happiness and strength. It will give them a feeling of security they were missing before.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. Save for retirement, starting with your first paycheck.
9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
11. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
12. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
14. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
15. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
16. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
17. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
19. Burn the candles; use the nice sheets; wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
20. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
23. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”
25. Forgive everyone everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
28. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
29. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
30. Believe in miracles.
31. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
32. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
33. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
34. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
35. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
36. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
37. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
40. The best is yet to come.
41. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
42. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
43. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

If you want more inspiration from Regina Brett, check out her personal website!

1. Measure yourself only against your previous self.

2. Never cancel dinner plans with a woman by text message.

3. Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.

4. You don’t have to keep every secret, just the important ones.

5. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.

6. A suntan is not bought, it’s earned.

7. Place-dropping is worse than-name dropping.

8. Don’t fill up on bread.

9. You don’t have to like baseball, but you should understand the concept of what a pitcher’s ERA means. Approach life similarly.

10. A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.

11. Appreciate your parents. When they die, you become an orphan.

12. “Remember when” is the lowest form of conversation.

13. It’s okay to forgive, as long as you don’t forget.

14. Never make a scene

15. Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.

16. If you wear cologne, no one should smell it from five feet away or five minutes after you’ve left

17. When giving a toast, short and sweet is always best.

18. If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.

19. Know when to ignore the camera.

20. Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.

21. Invest in great luggage.

22. Always carry cash.

23. Suck it up every now and then, especially for your family.

24. Never be the last one in the pool.

25. Don’t stare.

26. Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain.

27. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once

28. Admit it when you’re wrong, and forgive yourself for your mistakes.

29. Take more pictures. With a camera.

30. If you offer to help, don’t quit until the job is done.

31. Know at least one good joke.

32. There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.

33. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.

34. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.

35. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.

36. Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.

37. Never ask the same question twice.

38. Be kind. Life is hard enough as it is.

39. Know your way around a kitchen.

40. Set Goals. Write them down.

41. Stop talking about where you went to college.

42. Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.

43. It’s okay to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.

44. Never park in front of a bar.

45. Play competitive sports for as long as you can.

46. Never date an ex of your friend.

47. If riding the bus doesn’t incentivize you to improve your station in life, nothing will.

48. When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.

49. If you perspire, wear an undershirt.

50. Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row unless something really good comes up on the third night.

51. When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go. And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.

52. People get tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.

53. When in doubt, always kiss the girl.

54. Tip more than you should.

55. Always buy good shoes, sheets, and tires.

56. Put your cell phone away. You probably use it too often and at the wrong moments.

57. Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.

58. Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.

59. Eat brunch with friends as often as possible.

60. Be a regular at more than one bar.

61. Value a handful of truly close friends over a hundred acquaintances.

62. It’s better if old men cut your hair.

63. Learn how to fly-fish.

64. No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a wonderful companion.

65. Don’t split a check.

66. If you come from money, embrace it. We live in a world that rewards intelligence, creativity, and risk-taking.

67. When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.

68. The cliché is that having money is about not wasting time. But in reality, money is about facilitating spontaneity.

69. Be spontaneous.

70. Do not use an electric razor.

71. Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.

72. One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.

73. Your ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned tie drawer.

74. Throw parties. But have someone else clean up the next day.

75. Buy expensive sunglasses.

76. Act like you’ve been there before.

77. You may only request one song from the DJ.

78. Remember: You die twice, once when you stop breathing, and again when somebody mentions your name for the last time.

79. When you admire the work of artists or writers, tell them. And spend money to acquire their work.

80. Your clothes do not match. They go together.

81. Staying angry is a waste of energy.

82. Revenge can be a good way of getting over anger.

83. If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesn’t want you.

84. Always bring a bottle of something to the party.

85. Avoid that “last” whiskey. You’ve probably had enough.

86. Don’t use the word “closure” or ever expect it in real life.

87. Drink outdoors. And during the day. And sometimes by yourself.

88. Don’t linger in the doorway, in or out.

89. Date women outside your social set. You’ll be surprised.

90. If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.

91. You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.

92. The New Yorker is not high-brow. Neither is The Economist.

93. No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.

94. Hookers aren’t cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.

95. Don’t ever say, “it is what it is.”

96. Don’t gamble any amount of money that will piss you off if you lose.

97. Give up the dad bod. You’re not Leonardo DiCaprio.

98. Remember: Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.

99. You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.

Wall Street and its representatives often make investing more complicated than necessary to give investors the idea that they are helpless on their own. University of Chicago professor Harold Pollack has gained acclaim recently for insisting that all the important financial advice you need can fit on one side of a 4×6 index card. When I first heard this, I thought, “How small did he print?” A picture of the index card reveals that Pollack provided nine pieces of advice, written in rather large print. Let’s take a look at the professor’s recommendations to see if they contain all the financial advice you need.

1. Max your 401(k) or equivalent employee contribution.

This is a good piece of general advice — once you’ve first paid off any high-interest consumer debt and accumulated an appropriate cash reserve. For workers with no 401(k) company match, it might be better to contribute to a Roth IRA or a traditional IRA.

2. Buy inexpensive, well-diversified mutual funds such as Vanguard’s Target 20xx funds.

I’m not a big fan of target-date funds, and Vanguard’s target-date funds contain just a few asset classes. But they’re better than loaded, actively managed funds.

3. Never buy or sell an individual security. The person on the other side of the table knows more than you do about that stuff.

Maybe they do, and maybe they don’t. But there’s no doubt that owning individual securities is riskier than owning a well-diversified stock fund. Additionally, it’s unlikely that you know something about a company that isn’t already factored into its stock price.

4. Save 20% of your money.

5. Pay your credit-card balance in full every month.

6. Maximize tax-advantaged savings vehicles like Roth, SEP and 529 accounts.

This sounds a lot like No. 1, so I guess there are only eight things investors need to know.

7. Pay attention to fees. Avoid actively managed funds.

This sounds a lot like No. 2, so I guess there are only seven things investors need to know.

8. Make your financial advisor commit to a fiduciary standard.

9. Promote social-insurance programs to help people when things go wrong.

9A. Vote for people who will let you keep more of your own money.

10. Make sure you have adequate amounts of umbrella, disability and life insurance — just in case.

11. Keep your estate-planning documents up to date.

Note to all collectors — your children don’t want your stuff, they want their own stuff.

12. If you have to choose, make saving for your retirement a higher priority than saving for your kids’ college.

13. Don’t kid yourself. You probably know less about financial planning and investing than you realize.

14. There is no perfect portfolio — yours should emphasize simplicity and shun complexity.

15. You can only control the inputs to, not the performance of, your portfolio.

16. Successful investors focus on their goals and investment strategy, not on the stock market.

The long-term performance of your portfolio will be inversely proportional to how much you tinker with it. If you must peek, limit your stock market updates to Wednesdays and Fridays.

17. Your behavior as an investor will have a larger impact on your retirement lifestyle than the performance of your investments.

18. Your financial advisor should create a comprehensive and comprehensible financial plan that will keep you on course to your financial goals.

If you don’t have a financial plan – you don’t have a financial advisor.

19. Investing isn’t about hitting home runs — singles and doubles will serve you well in the long run and help you avoid making big mistakes.

20. Before getting into more consumer debt to impress your friends and neighbors remember this — one third won’t notice, one third won’t be impressed, and one third will think you’re a self-obsessed fool.

21. Maintain your optimism — the Perennial Pessimists have always been wrong, and there’s no reason to believe that their track record will change anytime soon.
Most people who provide financial advice are not required to act in a fiduciary capacity with their clients. They are not required to disclose conflicts of interest or recommend investments that are in their clients’ best interests — only those that are “suitable/” If your financial advisor isn’t acting in a fiduciary capacity with other clients, it’s unlikely that you’ll be treated differently.