Some Guy’s Online Dating Ad.

I live in Los Angeles, and will be visiting China soon.

You want to see the world, and have the means to do it. You’re not distracted by television, fashion, memes, marketing, or hype. You think differently without being obnoxious, myopic, or nerdy.

I’m 6ft6in tall, 290lbs, no tattoos, and no piercings. I don’t have kids. I don’t want kids. I definitely don’t want to be a step-dad, and I’ve had a Vasectomy. I’m debt-free, drug-free, disease-free, and circumcised. I have no criminal record, I don’t smoke, and rarely drink. I spend most of my money on restaurants, and traveling. I live 70 miles east of Los Angeles, and own a barren, empty, 880sqft, upstairs, flat, with no furniture, and a mattress on the floor. I’m a Truck Driver in Hollywood, and commute during odd hours in a beat 05 Rav4, or lane-split through 75 miles of stopped freeway traffic on a filthy 09 Sportster.

I’m quiet, dyslexic, left-handed, a nympho, an auditory learner, and an only child. I take college classes at night, online, or on the weekends for fun. I like museums, tombstones of forgotten heroes, nonfiction, audiobooks, Morrissey, alternative-media podcasts, and SiriusXM. I hate dogs watching me eat, 3-Series drivers, gravel trucks, political parties, meaningless banter, and hype.

I’m Read_Travel on the big dating sites, and Brian Stackhouse everywhere else.

I was 120lbs lighter, and used to spend 3 hours a day doing cardio 7 days a week so I’d be awesome in bed. I’ll have to find another motivation for utilizing my multiple gym memberships; because everyone thinks they’re smart, a good driver, or good in bed. While a good meal has been more rewarding than being thin, I intend on having a 2nd act.

I’ve finished at least 5 nonfiction audiobooks every week for the last 20 years; and in that time I’ve given up on twice as many that didn’t interest me. As I drive for work, commute to work, and commute to school; nonfiction audiobooks are my world away from the traffic, the road rage, and the judgment of those hurried west-siders who probably cringe at the thought of being me.

I love truck driving because I’m free to spend my time thinking about the things I choose. Many “educated” people don’t see a truck driver as being their equal, ironically their perceptions save us both some time. I make 90k, working 4 days a week. My schedule is extremely flexible, and I have nothing tying me down. This makes cheap flights, and random travel deals almost irresistible. I could make over 150k if I had to, but having a reason to rush home would be preferable. I want to be more than just a steady paycheck, or a sturdy sperm donor to some bored, suburban, working-woman that’s looking for a man to make her laugh. I’d like to think that I haven’t given up on finding a wife, but my 4XLT shirts from JC Penny foretell something else.

I’ve traveled to more countries than I can remember. I like researching cheap international flights, and possible itineraries when I’m stuck someplace dull. Since my parents are deceased, a goal of mine is to acquire transferable skills so I can live anywhere in the world someday; hopefully before I become a faded copy of the man I am today.

I’m a very hard sell. It seems that money has never gotten me anything more than liberty; and only my own ignorance to that, has ever taken away from life’s freedoms. I value experiencing, and learning new things over possessions, and status. Notwithstanding, I still strongly believe in personal property rights, and the 2nd amendment.

Conversely, as I begin to look back with a broadening vantage onto the meandering path that brought me here. I can clearly see now that at no time did I ever choose; the internal motivations or people, that gave my life the most meaning.

Being born, and living my entire life in the Los Angeles area; has unjustly led me to believe sometimes, that most people don’t know how to be happy with themselves without trashing others; and that the nuclear family was a romanticized notion that never actually existed; supposing I know these things not to be true.

I’ve learned the hard way that thinking the universe was meaningless, and completely random; only led to more of the same wasteful behaviors in my own life. I’m not at all religious; however, I would rather spend the rest of my life alone; than bring one more child into this world that does not grow up in an intact loving home, with a strong faith in God.

While my gifts, choices, and experiences have set me apart, and kept me estranged from others; I’m still hopeful because I’ve learned the most from the people I thought I’d least want to meet. Therefore I try not to believe everything I think.

When I wander from what I know, I feel as though this journey is my own, and in that moment I feel anything but alone. When I think about all the things I love about life, I feel indescribably loved. I’m grateful for the time you’ve given me. I share this awkward writing of a simple life with you in the hope that its beauty is mutually appreciated, for my truths might be the only thing I’ll ever have to offer you. Take care….

Spoiled Woman Comment Youtube Funny!!

I think women want a guy who’s handsome or cute, and pays for their food and entertainment to prove he’s a gentleman. He must be nice, but not too nice. Drive a nice car, but it doesn’t have to be too expensive. Easy going, but serious, dark and ambitious. Have a good paying job. Love his mother, but not more than the girl he’s seeing. Have the ability to read her thoughts and put her desires above all else. Confident, but not arrogant. An asshole, but not too much of an asshole. Be tall and strong to fight off wild animals and anyone who might insult or question the woman’s dignity. And oh yeah, we’ve got to be fucking comedians too! Basically, women are parasitic idiots chasing fantasies. And men are bigger idiots for attempting to make them happy. Russian and Australian men have got it right. Treat women like the spoiled pieces of shit that they are, and prioritize your own concerns. There are good reasons why most women don’t trust or even like each other.

How Not To Be “That Guy” When Invited On a Friend’s Boat

Hey! You’ve been invited to go boating with your friends! Folks with boats know people will start coming out of the woodwork the moment they buy a boat and are usually more than happy to have some others along. But there are a few rules you need to follow in order to get invited back.  Keep in mind, boats aren’t cheap to buy or maintain. Also marine gas ain’t cheap either and someone will be cleaning up a house full of tracked in lake mud after your adventure. They’re spending time and money to take you out so don’t act like some D-bag at a frat party.

Here’s a couple of rules to ensure you’ll receive future invites. (Note: When I say guy, I mean guys and girls, I’m from Michigan it’s what we do.)

1) Food – Don’t be the guy that brings one bag of pretzel rods for a full day of boating. Eventually you will get hungry (especially after a few beverages) and when you do you will have to depend on the kindness of others to be fed properly. Mainly because they don’t want your drunk ass passing out due to lack of proper nutrition or falling off the boat. Consider bringing a sub sandwich, chopped fruit, veggies, chips or some other easy to transport food. Be gracious when someone does offer you their food and don’t just take for granted that the host/hostess is supposed to feed you unless this was specifically implied.

2) Drinks – Always bring twice what you can drink. Boating is a communal affair and you may have to share a couple beers. (Because there’s always the person who came completely empty handed or underestimated their ability to consume beverages on a hot day). Also don’t show up with just drinks, put them in a cooler and cover them with ice. Unless you’re bringing Fireball, we’ll make room in our cooler for that. And drink a water every now and again. Proper hydration will ensure that you don’t get too intoxicated and be “That Guy.”

3) Guests – Did you tell the captain you were bringing a friend/dog/child on their boat? Bringing tag-alongs without notice is a big no-no. Maybe that extra will overcrowd the boat, or pee on the carpet (I mean the dog not the friend) and some situations just aren’t kid friendly. Besides, now you are personally responsible for the care and feeding of your guest. You’re going to have to share your warm 6 pack and pretzel rods between 2 people now. Always check with your host/hostess before dragging along a sidekick. Yes, even you, beloved friend.

4) Smoking – Always ask before lighting up on someone’s boat. Once again these are expensive machines, and just because they’re open air doesn’t mean it’s ok. Owners always fear that some drunk may put a burn hole in the seat. Be considerate and ask first and NEVER throw your butts in the water.

5) Littering – Speaking of throwing things in the water. Absolutely nothing goes into the water that is not seaweed. Orange rinds, peanut shells, and such are no big deal but be mindful of your beer caps, cigarette butts, wrappers and cans. Litter is destructive and disgusting. In fact if you find a piece of trash in the water, pick it up and put it in a trash bin. Don’t be a piggy.

6) Be Prepared – Be sure you’ve brought all you need for fun in the sun. This includes sunscreen, sunglasses, chapstick, and a towel along with your food and drinks. Trust your friends when they say you need sunscreen or a water.

7) The Captain – OK here’s the deal: The captain is in charge of the boat. (The captain may not always be the one in the drivers seat) If he/she says it’s time to go, it’s time to go. If they ask you to move, sit down or shut up, do it. As fun and relaxing as boating is, it is the captains job to ensure the safety of all the people on their boat and they are liable for you. Also, the captain chooses the music or appoints a DJ, end of story.

8) Safety – If you feel a “Hold my beer and watch this” moment coming up, just say no. Do not push anyone out of a moving boat or jump out of a moving boat. Do not hang out by the motor of a running boat. Don’t try a double back flip off the platform. Don’t sit on the rails at high speeds. In other words don’t be dumb.

9) Passenger Etiquette – Respect the boat! Don’t step on seats, only hard surfaces if possible. Leave coolers on the floor. Don’t bring any glass on board.  Respect equipment including paddle boards and floats. Don’t play with any buttons or switches. Don’t try to start the boat while the captain is away. Don’t try to “help” unless the captain asks you to.

10) Don’t be late – Nothing is more tiresome than sitting with a boat full of people waiting on that one person who didn’t plan ahead. We could be out having fun, but no we’re still at the dock because you just texted “On My Way!” from inside the beer store. Have some respect for your friends and get there when you are supposed to.

11) Disembarking – Don’t stand up until the boat is fully secure. Make sure you grab everything you brought with you on the boat. Make sure all trash has been cleared and put it in a proper place at the house. Ask for help if you need it.

Oh and if you get invited out regularly, offer to chip in for gas. A gas station gift card is the easy way to make this happen. That’s it for now friends! Please let me know if you think of something else I can add!

(Update: A friend also mentioned that you should use spray sunscreen BEFORE getting on the boat. Sunscreen spray makes seats sticky and hard to clean. The lotion kind is better for your skin and the environment anyway.)

11 Financial Words All Parents Should Teach Their Kids

11 Financial Words All Parents Should Teach Their Kids

If there’s one subject that has the ability to impact kids throughout their entire lives, it’s personal finance. Unfortunately, it’s a subject that no one wants to teach them.

“The practicality of teaching [finance to kids] is so important…it’s the one topic that they’ll actually use for the rest of their lives, everyday. But it’s the one topic that isn’t really taught,” says Gregg Murset, chief executive of My Job Chart, an online tool that teaches kids about responsibility, managing money and helping charities.

Because most schools aren’t teaching finance, the responsibility falls to parents. But many parents are reluctant to broach the subject, often because they don’t feel qualified or they think talking about money will make their children worry. In a recent study 72% of parents reported at least some reluctance talking to their kids about finance. But that doesn’t mean they don’t want their kids learning it — 91% believe it’s appropriate for kids to learn about financial matters in school and 75% said there should be a personal finance requirement to graduate.

Teachers agree — in a separate study 89% said students should take a finance course or pass a competency test for high school graduation — but only 29% of teachers are actually teaching it. There’s been some progress getting more public schools to make courses mandatory, but it’s far from being a standard part of school curriculum, which means the onus is on parents to ensure their kids have, at the very least, a basic financial understanding.

The following is a list of terms that experts say every kid should learn. It includes the age at which kids can generally being to understand the concept as well as an age-appropriate explanation that parents can use. (Even if your kids are into their teenage years, it’s never too late! Go through the list to make sure they have a good understanding of each term.)

1. Saving(s): Age 4+

Saving is one of the best topics to introduce at a young age. It’s easy for kids to grasp and can have a huge impact on those who embrace it early. “Saving means not using all of your money right away, but instead putting it aside for later,” says Stacy Francis, president and chief executive of Francis Financial.

There are plenty of examples parents can use to illustrate, here’s one: Start by giving your child two small pieces of candy during the day. Let them eat one right away and save the other until after dinner. Then each day for a week, give them two pieces but have them save one in a special place. When the week is over, they’ll be excited to have a bag full of candy. Explain that saving money works the same way — when you regularly put a little bit aside, in time it will add up to something big.

2. Budget: Age 8

A budget is plan that you make to keep track of your money and where it is going. One great way that a lot of parents teach kids how to budget is with “give, save, spend jars.” Whenever the child earns money they divide it between the jars. The “save” jar is money that’s intended for a longer-term goal; money in the “spend” jar can be used any time for smaller purchases; the “give” jar is money that will go to a charity of their choosing. The give jar, in particular, is great for getting kids to think about helping others while allowing them the freedom to choose where to donate their money.

Niv Persaud, founder of Transition Planning & Guidance says it’s also a good idea to get kids involved in the family budget, or “spending plan” as she calls it. “Involve your kids in developing a spending plan for an upcoming vacation. Let them see how you budget and save for these memorable trips. Start with small tasks and as your kids grow, expand their role. Once you’ve selected a destination, ask them to calculate how much you need to save for travel, food, lodging and entertainment. When you’re on vacation, ask them to keep track of spending.”

3. Loan: Age 8

A loan is something that is borrowed, often money, which has to be paid back with interest (See #5 below). Most kids get the basic concept of a loan because chances are, at one time or another, they’ve lent something to a friend or sibling and expected to get it back.

Start by explaining some of the reasons people take out loans. For instance, because it costs a lot of money to buy a house most people borrow money (take out a mortgage) to pay for it. Even kids know that $300,000 is a lot of money, so when they hear that’s the average price of a house they can understand why most people borrow money to cover it. Car loans and student loans are also good ones to discuss – especially the latter for kids who will be taking out student loans to pay for college.

While taking out a loan isn’t a bad thing, parents need to stress that when you do take on a loan, it’s your responsibility to pay it back.

4. Debt: Age 8

Loans and debt can be explained together. Like a loan, a debt is money that you owe someone that needs to be paid back. Once again, a mortgage can be a good way to illustrate how debt works. (Other types of debt, such as credit card debt, can be introduced a bit later on — See #6)

Murset says parents should discuss their own mortgage with their kids by explaining that they borrowed money – took on debt – to buy their house and that they need to pay it back a little bit each month. He adds, it’s critical to show the kids the mortgage statement so they can see how much is paid each month and the interest. That way they can see the cost associated with debt and that it never goes away until it’s paid off. Murset says, “kids need to understand that once you have a debt, it doesn’t go away until you’ve taken care of it.”

5. Interest: Age 8-10

Interest has two sides: it’s either something you pay when someone lends you money or something that you earn when you lend money to someone else. Elizabeth Grahsl, Vice President of Prosperity Bank says, you would earn interest if, for example, “your sister runs out of her allowance but needs money this weekend. You could lend her $20 but charge her $2 in interest, which she will have to pay you back next week.” You can also make it into a game to illustrate how it works: Ask to borrow a few dollars from your child’s piggy bank and then set up a schedule to pay it back over the next month with interest.

Grahsl adds, “explain to older kids how you pay the bank interest on your car loan or mortgage each month. Also point out that the bank pays you interest on deposits you gave them.”

When kids are older and can calculate simple percentages, have them do some math to see how interest adds up. Show them a credit card agreement that charges 15% interest and have them figure out how much extra money you would have to pay to carry a balance of $5,000 or $10,000 on your credit card, versus if you paid it off right away.

6. Credit/Credit Card: Age 8-10

Credit lets you buy something without having to pay for it right away. For example, if you use a credit card to buy a new bike that costs $200, the money doesn’t come out of your bank account. Instead the credit card company pays for the bike. Then they send you a bill and you have to pay them back the $200. If you don’t pay them back right away, they will charge you extra money (interest). The longer it takes you to pay back, the more money you will owe in the end. While credit cards are necessary to have — you can’t buy a sandwich on a plane without one — kids need to understand that they should only be used to buy things that they can afford to pay off right away.

If you’re at the store with your child and they forget their money but they absolutely have to have that special toy, let them borrow the money, say $10. Tell them, however, that they have to pay you back right away when you get home. If they don’t, start adding on interest and continue to until they’ve paid you back.

Parents should also explain how a debit card is different as it takes money directly from your checking account. Murset suggests referring to debit cards as “money suckers.” “When you’re at the store and you slide the debit card, explain that the card is sucking the money right out of your account at that very moment.”

7. Taxes: Age 10-12

Chances are most kids know the word but few understand what taxes are. Here’s the explanation: Taxes are payments that go to the government for the work that it does, such as improving schools and fixing roads. They’re taken right from your paycheck and the amount you pay depends on how much money you make.

Jeff Nauta, Principal with Henrickson Nauta Wealth Advisors says, “A great way to teach kids about taxes is to apply a tax to their allowance.” So rather than giving them their full allowance each week, take away a percentage and put it in a family jar to be used toward a household expense.

You can also explain to older kids that doing certain things, which have a positive impact such as donating money to charity or installing solar panels on your house, can lower your taxes.

8. Investment – Age 10-12

An investment is something that you spend money on, which you believe will earn you even more money (a profit) down the line. John Fowler, a wealth manager with McElhenny Sheffield Capital Management, says he’s teaching his 6-year-old daughter about investing by having her take money out of her piggy bank each week to put into an “investment account” (also known as “the box in daddy’s filing cabinet).

Fowler says the idea is that if she leaves $10 in the box, she’ll make an extra $1. “It took a couple of months of forcing her to put the money in the box in the filing cabinet. I set an alert on my phone to go off every week and I would add one quarter a week for every $10 she would “invest.” By keeping the time frame we use to review her gains relatively short, weekly, it kept the concept front of mind and it became fun for her.”

Kids should know, however, that although people invest in things that they hope will make them more money, it doesn’t always happen that way. That’s why it’s never a good idea to put all of your money in a risky investment, because if you do and the investment fails, you could loose it all.

9. Stock – Age 12+

A stock is a piece of a company. When you own a stock of a company, you own a small piece of its business. Every stock has a price and that price can go up or down, depending on what’s happening at the company.

Stock movements are best illustrated to kids with an example of a company they know. For instance, say you bought one share of Apple AAPL -0.75% stock for $5 . If the company sold a ton of iPhones, which is good for the company, it could make the stock price go up to $8, meaning you would have earned $3 on your investment. On the other hand, if Apple didn’t sell a lot of iPhones and the stock fell to $2, you would have lost $3. Most people don’t own a single piece of a stock (a share), but tens, hundreds or thousands of shares. And most people also own stock of several different companies. The “stock market” is where people buy and sell (trade) their stocks. There is an actual place where stocks are traded but it can also be done over the Internet.

Learning about stocks can be particularly fun as kids get older. There are a lot of online games and apps they can use to create virtual stock portfolios, which can show them how stock prices move and how much money they would have made or lost if they been dealing with real money.

10. 401(K): 14+

As kids enter the teenage years, it’s a good time to begin preparing them for some of the things they will likely encounter once they enter the workforce, one of which is a 401(k) plan. Francis explains a 401(k) as “a savings account for retirement savings offered by your employer. The money that you put into a 401(k) is taken out directly from your paycheck, and is intended solely for retirement. You can’t withdraw it until age 59½.”

Francis adds, “You don’t pay taxes now on money you put into your 401k…This is a great deal because the money that would have been taken out in taxes is instead allowed to grow and compound your entire working career. Only when you withdraw it in retirement do you pay taxes.”

The money that’s put into a 401(k) gets put into different investments. The ideas is that the investments will increase over time, so the money in the 401(k) will grow as well.

11. Credit Score: Age 15+

Once you plan to give your child use of a credit card, you must explain what a credit score is, Persaud of Transition Planning & Guidance says. Here’s how she describes it: There are three credit bureaus, which calculate your “credit score” or how you use your money. The goal is to have a high credit score – more “likes” by the credit bureaus. The way to receive more likes (a high score) is to have a long history of paying your bills on time. When you don’t pay your bills on time or you have too much debt, your score gets lowered.

It’s important to emphasize that a good credit score will help in the future if you want to borrow money to buy a house or a car. Meanwhile a bad credit score can make it difficult for you to borrow money.

Five simple rules to be happy. A donkeys tale.

Five simple rules to be happy.  A donkeys tale.

One day a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred – Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries – Most never happens.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less from people but more from yourself.

The Husband Store

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item
from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you
CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
The 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited.