Some Guy’s Online Dating Ad.

I live in Los Angeles, and will be visiting China soon.

You want to see the world, and have the means to do it. You’re not distracted by television, fashion, memes, marketing, or hype. You think differently without being obnoxious, myopic, or nerdy.

I’m 6ft6in tall, 290lbs, no tattoos, and no piercings. I don’t have kids. I don’t want kids. I definitely don’t want to be a step-dad, and I’ve had a Vasectomy. I’m debt-free, drug-free, disease-free, and circumcised. I have no criminal record, I don’t smoke, and rarely drink. I spend most of my money on restaurants, and traveling. I live 70 miles east of Los Angeles, and own a barren, empty, 880sqft, upstairs, flat, with no furniture, and a mattress on the floor. I’m a Truck Driver in Hollywood, and commute during odd hours in a beat 05 Rav4, or lane-split through 75 miles of stopped freeway traffic on a filthy 09 Sportster.

I’m quiet, dyslexic, left-handed, a nympho, an auditory learner, and an only child. I take college classes at night, online, or on the weekends for fun. I like museums, tombstones of forgotten heroes, nonfiction, audiobooks, Morrissey, alternative-media podcasts, and SiriusXM. I hate dogs watching me eat, 3-Series drivers, gravel trucks, political parties, meaningless banter, and hype.

I’m Read_Travel on the big dating sites, and Brian Stackhouse everywhere else.

I was 120lbs lighter, and used to spend 3 hours a day doing cardio 7 days a week so I’d be awesome in bed. I’ll have to find another motivation for utilizing my multiple gym memberships; because everyone thinks they’re smart, a good driver, or good in bed. While a good meal has been more rewarding than being thin, I intend on having a 2nd act.

I’ve finished at least 5 nonfiction audiobooks every week for the last 20 years; and in that time I’ve given up on twice as many that didn’t interest me. As I drive for work, commute to work, and commute to school; nonfiction audiobooks are my world away from the traffic, the road rage, and the judgment of those hurried west-siders who probably cringe at the thought of being me.

I love truck driving because I’m free to spend my time thinking about the things I choose. Many “educated” people don’t see a truck driver as being their equal, ironically their perceptions save us both some time. I make 90k, working 4 days a week. My schedule is extremely flexible, and I have nothing tying me down. This makes cheap flights, and random travel deals almost irresistible. I could make over 150k if I had to, but having a reason to rush home would be preferable. I want to be more than just a steady paycheck, or a sturdy sperm donor to some bored, suburban, working-woman that’s looking for a man to make her laugh. I’d like to think that I haven’t given up on finding a wife, but my 4XLT shirts from JC Penny foretell something else.

I’ve traveled to more countries than I can remember. I like researching cheap international flights, and possible itineraries when I’m stuck someplace dull. Since my parents are deceased, a goal of mine is to acquire transferable skills so I can live anywhere in the world someday; hopefully before I become a faded copy of the man I am today.

I’m a very hard sell. It seems that money has never gotten me anything more than liberty; and only my own ignorance to that, has ever taken away from life’s freedoms. I value experiencing, and learning new things over possessions, and status. Notwithstanding, I still strongly believe in personal property rights, and the 2nd amendment.

Conversely, as I begin to look back with a broadening vantage onto the meandering path that brought me here. I can clearly see now that at no time did I ever choose; the internal motivations or people, that gave my life the most meaning.

Being born, and living my entire life in the Los Angeles area; has unjustly led me to believe sometimes, that most people don’t know how to be happy with themselves without trashing others; and that the nuclear family was a romanticized notion that never actually existed; supposing I know these things not to be true.

I’ve learned the hard way that thinking the universe was meaningless, and completely random; only led to more of the same wasteful behaviors in my own life. I’m not at all religious; however, I would rather spend the rest of my life alone; than bring one more child into this world that does not grow up in an intact loving home, with a strong faith in God.

While my gifts, choices, and experiences have set me apart, and kept me estranged from others; I’m still hopeful because I’ve learned the most from the people I thought I’d least want to meet. Therefore I try not to believe everything I think.

When I wander from what I know, I feel as though this journey is my own, and in that moment I feel anything but alone. When I think about all the things I love about life, I feel indescribably loved. I’m grateful for the time you’ve given me. I share this awkward writing of a simple life with you in the hope that its beauty is mutually appreciated, for my truths might be the only thing I’ll ever have to offer you. Take care….